I argued with my father. "You're an ass." He'd gone out of his way to kill and insect I'd gone out of my way to save from my sister, Jennifer - she's entomophobic, assuming entomophobic is the scientific term for "fear of insects". "Please don't use THAT language." I laughed in his face. "Ass? Dictionary definition: A slang term for a donkey; a slang term for a part of the human anatomy; a technical term for you." It wasn't amusing or clever but he cracked a smile. "Please don't," he repeated. "Ass!" He frowned.
- Exit my father; enter my conscience - . The honest to God truth is that my father is not actually an ass. Me? Yes, I'm an ass, a genuine ass. A moment of self-depreciative reflection and I followed him. "Dad?" He sighed, "Yes, Kaitlin?" I didn't know what to say so I said what I knew. "I'm sorry. I'm fucking - he cringed - frustrated with two men in my life - Matt and Ryan, if you were wondering - and I'm releasing my frustrations on you, you being the only other one, man in my life." He exhaled. "Thank you. I love you." I said that I loved him too - which I do. I retreated, defeated by my own foolish, selfish, anger and pride.
Fifteen minutes after my own defeat of myself, I sat in bed and cut myself. My name is Kaitlin and I am a self-injurer. - Hello Kaitlin - . How? either hot objects or sharp objects. Most of the time, the latter. Why? Either I want to or I feel I need to. Tonight, the latter.
-1991kmh
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