Sunday, September 13th, 2009.

Tonight,

I was standing in my backyard, a cardboard box balanced on my head - an impromptu umbrella to protect me and my cigarette from the torrential downpour. Several minutes and a cigarette following my exit from the great indoors - entrance to the great outdoors -, as I was lighting another cigarette, I noticed an older woman, standing in her open garage, with her own cigarette. She appeared to have noticed me - or rather, she appeared to have noticed me noticing her noticing me. Thus, being the personable and sociable person that I so obviously am, I did the neighbourly thing and skipped - yes, skipped - through the rain, across my lawn, the street, and her driveway, and landed squarely on a cement block - strategically placed in front of her open garage, effectively blocking her vehicle, a black SUV. She stepped backward - ah, she was "taken aback".

I raised my voice, "I noticed we have similar plights!" She registered no observable understanding of our "similar plights" so I continued, "I noticed we have both been dismissed to our respective yards to enjoy our cigarettes in the pleasure of the tropical storm!" She laughed, uncomfortable, I suspect, and proceeded to invite me into the protection of her garage. She introduced herself - Annette, Rosemary, or Anne Marie, I think. I introduced myself also. I spelled my name "K-A-I-T-L-I-N". She complimented me on it, repeating it two or three times to add a sense of honest emphasis. "Oh my! A very pretty name!" I smiled. Oh my! I thought, a very common name! As a matter of fact, the third most common name of 1991 - the year I was born. I highly doubted she was aware of so trivial a fact so I immediately informed her of it. She smiled.

We made genial - good word, like "genital" - small talk for four minutes, which I timed, silently counting to 240 while engaged in superficial expression of my social ability. I'd go so far as to label it "superability". Anyway, four minutes and one cigarette later, I politely excused myself. I promised to return on my next cancer-causing excursion. I skipped joyfully - or joyously - through the rain, across her driveway, the street, and my lawn, and landed in my garage. I poured myself a drink - don't worry AA, diet raspberry iced tea, be happy AA - and reflected fondly on mine and my neighbour's similar plights.
As I promised, on my next cancer-causing excursion, I returned to my backyard, a cardboard box balanced on my head. To my dismay, Annetterosemaryannemarie's garage was closed - I felt suddenly alone.

- 1991kmh